The Conception of The Big Idea

So, I’ve realized what happens when you go from being a SAHM of 3 growing girls, to suddenly being at home alone all day. For one, I read….A LOT. This is great for me. It’s one of my favorite pastimes and as any mother of 2 or more children knows, (don’t ask “why 2 and not one”. that’s a whole ‘other blog!) when you have the time to enjoy a pastime, you take what you can get. Well, I have 5 whole days. But you can only read so much before your eyes start to wander to the corners of your eyes and it’s just time to take a break. Problem is, I’m still alone in the quietness of my big 4-bedroom house and the only noises are the fans and the dog licking his paws. So, of course, my mind begins to wander. But as I hope my readers learn, oftentimes it’s that quietness that allows us to hear the Lord speak to us.

I recently read The Duggars: 20 and Counting. In the book, Jim Bob Duggar talks about an idea God laid on his heart. He knew the idea came from God because “there was no way I would have ever dreamed up such a thing on my own!”¹ Now I know that feeling and I can attest that I really do think the Lord speaks to us. We just sometimes need that monotonous fan in the background to get our heart’s hearing tuned-in to His voice.

As I lay there on the couch, my mind begins to focus on my husband’s frustrated words last week….”I just want to sell everything and move and start over”. We all feel like that sometimes. When the stresses of family, illness, finances or otherwise just seem so overwhelming that it seems as though life would be better to just leave. But any logical person knows that no matter what you do to change your circumstances you can never run from problems. They will follow you everywhere you go until you look them in the eye and say “ENOUGH” and deal with them head on. Oftentimes, it seems far too overwhelming to face them, and then out of nowhere, the Lord sends us a message to remind us that we don’t have to face them alone. Our message came in the form of a sermon. Cliché, I know, but true. It just so happened that we visited our old home-church on Sunday and the message was “Where is God when life hurts?” We were reminded that He’s right there, hurting with us, and we just need to draw near to Him so that He may draw near to us and comfort us. I woke up Monday morning committed to that. I knew that if I truly needed clarity on what our future path was to be, I had to ask. I had to draw near to God and open my heart to His presence and voice if I had any hope of gaining that wisdom. But is it me that needs to gain the clarity and wisdom on this subject?

You see, I have very strong convictions about where God has placed me and who I am as a descendant of Eve. God created me to be my husband’s helper; his mate; his sidekick. The Lord did not assign me any form of sovereignty over my husband and I am never to be his conscience or medium; simply his helper. He calls the shots and I see to it that things are carried out to the best of our ability. As a descendant of Eve, I must always remember that it was EVE who was deceived. The Devil cunningly tempted the weaker of the two to accomplish his goal. I have learned, often the hard way that my thoughts, opinions and actions must be contemplated with extreme scrutiny as to not lead my husband astray, as Eve led Adam astray. So, again I ask the question…is it me that should be seeking this wisdom? Or my husband?

I have concluded that we both must. I simply took what I have learned and heard and have begun to pray. I’ve prayed for my own patience and wisdom to know when I am being a good helper, and when I am overstepping my boundaries into “nagging bossiness”. But I have mostly prayed for my husband. That the Lord might reveal to him the path on which we should be. Makes sense and sounds easy, but as we all know, it’s just not always that simple.

So back to my quiet Monday morning. As I diligently went about my day doing my Weekly Home Blessing, my mind and heart pondered on all that I had heard over the last few days; selling everything and moving, living simply, the kids missing the country…so much to think about. But one thing stuck out…..selling everything and moving. But where? Where would we go? And that’s when I heard it…..God’s voice speaking to my heart in a way I cannot explain. Like Jim Bob Duggar, I knew it was God because there is no way I would have thought this up on my own. Suddenly, I knew what Jim Bob was talking about and I felt a chill run through my body. Not a cold chill and not a hot sweats kind of chill. But a warm peace like the one you feel when a warm cup of tea goes down your throat on a cold winter day. It was a scary thought, but I wasn’t the least bit scared. I was excited, elated and anxious for the “hows” and “why’s” to follow…..

I spent the remainder of the afternoon opening my mind and heart to all the little details, but mostly on how I would present this crazy idea to Steve. I knew I had to have some “how’s” to share with him, and the Lord just flooded me with ideas, one after another, even details that seemed insignificant or trivial. By the time Steve got home, I knew one of two things would happen…..either he’d love the idea or he’d think I was insane (which wouldn’t be the first time). Either way, I was reassured that it was in the Lord’s hands, and He knew what He was doing…..”Just obey, Addie and let me take care of the rest” is what my heart heard.

When he got home from work yesterday, I revealed The Idea to Steve is small bites.

“What if we did _____?”

“We could _____;”

“Wouldn’t that be a great experience for us and the kids?”

I love the way God works. Steve loved every bit of The Idea and even began to brainstorm his own details. Minute by minute I began to see God work in Steve’s heart and in our family. But just to be sure, I said to Steve…”Ok, lets pray about it and make sure that we’re really doing what God has planned for us and that this isn’t just some crazy idea of our own.” His response was like that feeling you get when your boss drops 100 files on your desk and says he wants a report by noon.

“You do that…..you’re better at that sort of thing,” he said. See! I knew it wasn’t that easy….

WHAT??? I’ve spent years trying to re-condition myself to be the woman and helpmeet God wants me to be; being submissive and allowing my husband to lead, and recognizing that I am not necessarily the “more spiritual” one of the two. Now I have been delegated as the messenger? Would I be disobeying God by leading spiritually? Would I be disobeying my husband by NOT? Let’s face it….being delegated as the spiritual leader for the entire family carries a huge amount of responsibility. All I could think was “Ok, God….you heard him. Please help us!”

And so, this is where “The Big Idea” was conceived. Ironically, as I sit here writing, I realize that it will take about 9-10 months to prepare for the “birth” of this idea. Is that any coincidence?

In closing for today, I ask for prayers in all facets of The Big Idea; mainly, that the Lord will continue to work in Steve and me to give us reassurance and clarity that this idea is His plan. If it is His path for us, I welcome it with open arms and anxiously await the blessings he has in store for us through our obedience. If not, I pray that He’ll give us a loving knock upside the head so we can focus on the path He does have paved for us.