Kids: What about school?

I have to laugh every time this question is asked. Whether it be in an email, a text or over the phone, it is asked with the exact same verbage every time...."What about the kids and school?"

It amazes me that in this day and age, when virtually any and all of my fellow public-school parents would agree the education in this country is substandard, and homeschooling is on the rise more than any other generation, that this would even be a question. More so, why is it that we have all bought into this idea that the only place our children can get an education is in a public school, and the only people qualified to do so are "certified educators".

I read a very interesting point once upon a time and I don't even remember where I read it, but it went something like this: why is it that we, as mothers, can raise and teach our children through midnight feedings, colic, learning to crawl, walk and run, holding a bottle, spoon and crayon and potty training, but somehow when they reach the age of 5, we no longer think we are capable of "teaching" them? Better yet, how is it that we can somehow convince ourselves that if we send our kids to a building with a bunch of other people their size that have few (good) social skills that they are being prepared for the real world?

We get our little one through the most formidable years of their lives and then hand them off to a stranger, somehow convinced they are more qualified than us to teach them how to learn! And then we spend 13+ years making them socialize with people who, we admit, we don't like their behavior.

My kids have been in both scenarios. They have been homeschooled kids, only exposed to the people I select for them to socialize with. They have been in public school (both before and after homeschooling) where I have witnessed first hand the influence that particular setting and socialization has made on them. Although they are heading to a highly regarded charter school this month, I am a firm believer in this: our children are only as good as the situation we place them in and the people we surround them with.

So, when people ask me this question, "What about school?" my response is this...What about it?

I know, with out an inkling of doubt, that being removed from the public school setting will be a blessing and saving grace to my girls. I can be, and will be, the best "educator" my girls could ever have. They will have the opportunity to see and learn things that no book could ever live up to. I care more about their character, education and growth than any teacher ever could....not because teachers are not good enough, but because they just aren't mom. My children will experience how people really behave and socialize. Let's face it, being bullied for your lunch money or made fun of because your jeans are not the "right" brand is not how the real world is; that's how public school is.

I am ecstatic about the opportunity to pull them out of "school", take them on the road and "unschool" them.

For those who still have their doubts....subscribe to the blog. The girls will be adding their own blogs next summer about what they are seeing and learning! (I hear there is even talk about a web show!)

Money Matters: How will you sustain financially?

Let’s face it; we need money to get through life…for the most part. So let’s cover that question right off the top!

This will, no doubt, be the biggest preparatory task of all. We of course need the funds to purchase our “new home” (the RV), but also enough of a nest egg to pay our expenses for the following 12 months. Too, we will need to consider what funds we will need at the end of the 12 months, either to keep going, or to settle.

Fortunately, Steve is an entrepreneur with a business that allows him to work on the road, if necessary. He is currently working very hard and making many sacrifices to build his business enough that hopefully, with God’s help and grace, there will be some residual monthly income coming in while we are on the road. However, we cannot necessarily count on that 100% to sustain us.

As I mentioned, we will be selling all of material possessions. With the exception of near-and-dear memorabilia, everything will be liquidated. Now, Steve & I have never been the type to have expensive furniture or collector art pieces. Nonetheless, as we have walked around the house to inventory our possessions and estimate their value we have found that just in things like furniture, appliances, toys and knick-knacks, we can get a good nest egg started.

I will also be looking for a part-time job; just something that I can do during the day while the kids are in school (remember, they are my 1st priority!) and offers a little side cash to stash into the nest egg!

The biggest source of funds is going to come from a place that so many of us suburbanites have a difficult time with: cutting expenses. I have taken a long hard look at our budget recently and found that so many of the things we spend money on are “wants” and not “needs”. We “need” a house, electricity, water and heat. However, contrary to what our suburban society has trained us to believe, we DO NOT need a lot of what we spend our money on. Here is just a brief list of what OUR family has spent money on that, in order to save for our adventure, we will be, or have already, eliminated:

• Car payments - we have always tried to avoid these and buy our cars cash – we currently have no car payments
• Car insurance - we only purchase liability. We have found that full coverage is flushing hard-earned money down the toilet, although, you can only do this if you have no car payments!
• Clothing – my kids DO NOT get name brand clothes, EVER. I shop thrift stores often and fortunately they will be going to a uniformed school this year, eliminating the desire for the latest trends!
• Dining Out – like when we were kids, our family has minimized this to being an occasional “treat” rather than a weekly expense. I even found a Restaurant Cookbook that offers many of the famous restaurant secrets to make at home, like KFC chicken, Pizza Hut Pan Pizza & Red Lobster’s Cheese Biscuits (and the kids think this is pretty cool too!)
• Entertainment – this is one of a few of the ways we suburban families get sucked in to the “social standard”. Let’s face it – our kids do not “need” a season pass to the amusement park, $10 movie tickets and $20 snack money at the movies. We have found that bargain matinees (after a hearty brunch at home), 99 cent bowling and even a game of Uno at home are just as entertaining!
• Extra-Curricular Activities – this has become an insane obsession with today’s parents, and yes, even I got sucked in. We were spending almost $100/mo for one of our daughters to take gymnastics twice a week. Over a year, that would be enough money to sustain us for a month on the road! Unless it is a school-sponsored activity (these are generally much more affordable), this is merely an unnecessary “want”
• Food & Groceries – this is an area we had to revamp quite some time ago. I’ve learned 3 key things to keeping these expenses under control: (1) menu planning, (2) buying in bulk (this only works well with strict menu planning, as you buy in bulk to prepare the same meals in rotation) and (3) making time to prepare – you can save a TON of money preparing your own convenience foods, snacks and even some of your household cleaning supplies!
• Personal Care (i.e. haircuts, dry cleaning, salon services) – I’ve learned to cut my husband & children’s hair, Dryel works great, and frankly I can wax and color at home!
• Pet Care – again, I can bathe my dog at home and can minimize my vet visits by shopping around for the best deals on vaccination clinics. Beware! I have found that even the Pet Store clinics who claim to be a bargain can be much overpriced for someone who just needs a quick boarding vaccination!
• School Expenses – this has gotten out of control! Last year, I spent over $600 on extras for school – like field trips, fundraisers, etc. I didn’t even spend that much in a year when I was HOMESCHOOLING!! This year, the girls know….no fundraisers, no pictures (I can take my own, thank you!) and we’ll be compiling our OWN yearbook! The girls will each get a field trip budget and will have to pick and choose which ones they want to attend.
• Utilities – we cancelled our cable movie channels (redbox works just as well), changed all our bulbs to energy efficient, have our thermostat at a constant 68 (WHEN it gets turned back on for the fall) and are switching our phone service to a more affordable provider. Also, the girls get a timer for shower time and I have unplugged the dishwasher – I found we save a lot on our gas and water bill keeping these 2 things under control!

By my rough calculations, we should be able to eliminate almost $1000/mo in expenses. That means that by June 2010, we could have $10,000 saved up. Take into consideration the actual cost of living on the road, and that $10,000 could sustain us for 3-5 months, easily. It’s amazing how much you can live on when you let go of the idea of “stuff” and focus on the family unit.

This has been, and will continue to be, a challenge for all of us. We live in a world of immediate gratification where we are defined by what we have and we feel like we have to give our kids every opportunity to compete with the kid next door. Luckily, the girls are so excited about this trip, that many of the “cutbacks” are inconsequential right now. However, I know as they return to school, it will become more challenging. I can only hope that as we adults learn the value of the family, they too will learn that no gymnastics lesson, field trip or designer label shirt will measure up to good quality time as a family, working together to accomplish a goal that is sure to outshine all that “stuff”.

Which One Are You?

Since Sunday, Steve, the girls and I have only indulged a small number of people in our plan. I’m sure based on my previous posts The Big Idea appears at first to be quite vague. So, today, I take this opportunity to divulge the Idea, after which I will immediately be posting this blog site to my Facebook page, where many of my friends and family see my daily updates. That being said, I figured today’s blog would be a good place to start answering all of those sure-to-come-up questions everyone is going to ask.

“The Big Idea” is basically this: In June 2010 we will give up the “comforts” of the settled, suburban lifestyle in exchange for 12 months living on the road in an RV, just each other and the necessities!

Now, when you read that, you are one of two groups of people…..

Group A is thinking, “You are insane! You can’t raise children on the road like that! They need stability! What will you do for work? What about school for the kids? Is it safe?”

Group B, on the other hand, is thinking, “Wow! That is so cool! How exciting! What an experience! What a sacrifice!”

Which group you belong to is really of no consequence to us. Actually, I would love to have more Group A readers than Group B readers. I hope that by sharing all of our experiences, both good and bad, I can get Group A readers to be a little more open-minded, and maybe even change their modern-sociological thinking a bit. Group B readers…well, I just hope we can offer a little inspiration and maybe get them to take a leap of faith in places they might not have ever had the courage to do so.

Regardless of what group you belong to right now (I can almost promise most will be Group B by the end of our journey), there are some basic questions raised by everyone.

Over the next couple weeks, I will start covering some of those common questions. If you have some “not so common” questions, please feel free to post them! They can only help us think about details we may not otherwise consider!

Tomorrow’s FAQ: Money Matters: How will you sustain financially?

God’s Message of Certainty

Why is it that when we ask the Lord for something, we’re still amazed when He delivers? Is it merely our human nature, unable to wrap our little minds around His wondrous love, or is it a sign of our wavering faith, hoping but never quite sure if He will give us what we have requested in prayer? Either way, our Lord and Savior never ceases to amaze me.

As I had said Tuesday, I committed to prayer asking the Lord for provision and guidance in The Big Idea (not MY Big Idea, THE Big Idea). My heart remained steadfast in my faith that He would answer, but my mind, human as it is, wondered each day how long I would be waiting for that answer. I wanted a clear sign that this idea came from Him, and not just crazy “get me outta here” wish of my own desires.

Throughout the week, Steve and I have not been able to take our minds off of it. We oftentimes found ourselves asking one another “what are you thinking?”, knowing full well as we asked the other that question, we knew the answer. We both were heavy with the thoughts of many details; money, transportation, preparations….it all but consumed us. But never is a negative way. Each time a detail came to me, I could feel a rush of excitement come over me. Of course, books have become my way of dealing with all those questions. I checked out a couple of books pertaining to The Idea, placing a couple others on hold.

Yesterday was the day we were to travel back up to Fort Morgan to pick up the girls from their week-long stay-cation. On our way out, we stopped by the library to pick up one of the on-hold books and Steve and I discussed our plans, I paraphrased things from the book, and I intermittently said “if this is what we are supposed to do.” The question crossed our minds too; Do we share this with the kids? Or do we wait until we know for sure? On the “pro” side, we can include them in the process and they just might love the idea too! On the “con” side, they hate the idea and then blab to anyone and everyone, leaving us to explain why we would do something so crazy!

After arriving to pick up the kids and spending some quality time to visit with our friend and get a recap of the week, we began to gather up the girls and their things. As we were walking out the door, across the property sat their RV. Out of no where, our friend says “You guys want to buy our RV? We’re selling it.” Steve and I looked at each other and immediately knew what the other was thinking. “It’s just coincidental,” we both thought. We decided to take a peek, really just to see what they had, how much they wanted and to get a feel for it.

As we were heading home, Steve briefly and casually talked about their RV. We had not yet decided whether or not to disclose The Big Idea to the girls, when out of nowhere, we heard the Lord speak to us loud and clear through the voice of our daughter, Koti.

“Are we gonna buy their RV? We should! We could buy it and go on the road! We could sell all our stuff, travel the country and homeschool on the road!”

It was short of a miracle I didn’t have a heart attack or that Steve didn’t veer off the road into the corn field. All I could think to say was “I guess that’s our answer.”

So, now we have received our gift of provision. I truly believe that where God guides, He provides. The coming months will entail a lot of planning and preparing, selling and saving. I know there is great difficulty and insecurity in the endeavor upon which we are about to embark. But it is through faith and obedience that the biggest blessings are bestowed upon us and so I know in my heart there will be tremendous blessings and growth waiting for us in this.

The Conception of The Big Idea

So, I’ve realized what happens when you go from being a SAHM of 3 growing girls, to suddenly being at home alone all day. For one, I read….A LOT. This is great for me. It’s one of my favorite pastimes and as any mother of 2 or more children knows, (don’t ask “why 2 and not one”. that’s a whole ‘other blog!) when you have the time to enjoy a pastime, you take what you can get. Well, I have 5 whole days. But you can only read so much before your eyes start to wander to the corners of your eyes and it’s just time to take a break. Problem is, I’m still alone in the quietness of my big 4-bedroom house and the only noises are the fans and the dog licking his paws. So, of course, my mind begins to wander. But as I hope my readers learn, oftentimes it’s that quietness that allows us to hear the Lord speak to us.

I recently read The Duggars: 20 and Counting. In the book, Jim Bob Duggar talks about an idea God laid on his heart. He knew the idea came from God because “there was no way I would have ever dreamed up such a thing on my own!”¹ Now I know that feeling and I can attest that I really do think the Lord speaks to us. We just sometimes need that monotonous fan in the background to get our heart’s hearing tuned-in to His voice.

As I lay there on the couch, my mind begins to focus on my husband’s frustrated words last week….”I just want to sell everything and move and start over”. We all feel like that sometimes. When the stresses of family, illness, finances or otherwise just seem so overwhelming that it seems as though life would be better to just leave. But any logical person knows that no matter what you do to change your circumstances you can never run from problems. They will follow you everywhere you go until you look them in the eye and say “ENOUGH” and deal with them head on. Oftentimes, it seems far too overwhelming to face them, and then out of nowhere, the Lord sends us a message to remind us that we don’t have to face them alone. Our message came in the form of a sermon. Cliché, I know, but true. It just so happened that we visited our old home-church on Sunday and the message was “Where is God when life hurts?” We were reminded that He’s right there, hurting with us, and we just need to draw near to Him so that He may draw near to us and comfort us. I woke up Monday morning committed to that. I knew that if I truly needed clarity on what our future path was to be, I had to ask. I had to draw near to God and open my heart to His presence and voice if I had any hope of gaining that wisdom. But is it me that needs to gain the clarity and wisdom on this subject?

You see, I have very strong convictions about where God has placed me and who I am as a descendant of Eve. God created me to be my husband’s helper; his mate; his sidekick. The Lord did not assign me any form of sovereignty over my husband and I am never to be his conscience or medium; simply his helper. He calls the shots and I see to it that things are carried out to the best of our ability. As a descendant of Eve, I must always remember that it was EVE who was deceived. The Devil cunningly tempted the weaker of the two to accomplish his goal. I have learned, often the hard way that my thoughts, opinions and actions must be contemplated with extreme scrutiny as to not lead my husband astray, as Eve led Adam astray. So, again I ask the question…is it me that should be seeking this wisdom? Or my husband?

I have concluded that we both must. I simply took what I have learned and heard and have begun to pray. I’ve prayed for my own patience and wisdom to know when I am being a good helper, and when I am overstepping my boundaries into “nagging bossiness”. But I have mostly prayed for my husband. That the Lord might reveal to him the path on which we should be. Makes sense and sounds easy, but as we all know, it’s just not always that simple.

So back to my quiet Monday morning. As I diligently went about my day doing my Weekly Home Blessing, my mind and heart pondered on all that I had heard over the last few days; selling everything and moving, living simply, the kids missing the country…so much to think about. But one thing stuck out…..selling everything and moving. But where? Where would we go? And that’s when I heard it…..God’s voice speaking to my heart in a way I cannot explain. Like Jim Bob Duggar, I knew it was God because there is no way I would have thought this up on my own. Suddenly, I knew what Jim Bob was talking about and I felt a chill run through my body. Not a cold chill and not a hot sweats kind of chill. But a warm peace like the one you feel when a warm cup of tea goes down your throat on a cold winter day. It was a scary thought, but I wasn’t the least bit scared. I was excited, elated and anxious for the “hows” and “why’s” to follow…..

I spent the remainder of the afternoon opening my mind and heart to all the little details, but mostly on how I would present this crazy idea to Steve. I knew I had to have some “how’s” to share with him, and the Lord just flooded me with ideas, one after another, even details that seemed insignificant or trivial. By the time Steve got home, I knew one of two things would happen…..either he’d love the idea or he’d think I was insane (which wouldn’t be the first time). Either way, I was reassured that it was in the Lord’s hands, and He knew what He was doing…..”Just obey, Addie and let me take care of the rest” is what my heart heard.

When he got home from work yesterday, I revealed The Idea to Steve is small bites.

“What if we did _____?”

“We could _____;”

“Wouldn’t that be a great experience for us and the kids?”

I love the way God works. Steve loved every bit of The Idea and even began to brainstorm his own details. Minute by minute I began to see God work in Steve’s heart and in our family. But just to be sure, I said to Steve…”Ok, lets pray about it and make sure that we’re really doing what God has planned for us and that this isn’t just some crazy idea of our own.” His response was like that feeling you get when your boss drops 100 files on your desk and says he wants a report by noon.

“You do that…..you’re better at that sort of thing,” he said. See! I knew it wasn’t that easy….

WHAT??? I’ve spent years trying to re-condition myself to be the woman and helpmeet God wants me to be; being submissive and allowing my husband to lead, and recognizing that I am not necessarily the “more spiritual” one of the two. Now I have been delegated as the messenger? Would I be disobeying God by leading spiritually? Would I be disobeying my husband by NOT? Let’s face it….being delegated as the spiritual leader for the entire family carries a huge amount of responsibility. All I could think was “Ok, God….you heard him. Please help us!”

And so, this is where “The Big Idea” was conceived. Ironically, as I sit here writing, I realize that it will take about 9-10 months to prepare for the “birth” of this idea. Is that any coincidence?

In closing for today, I ask for prayers in all facets of The Big Idea; mainly, that the Lord will continue to work in Steve and me to give us reassurance and clarity that this idea is His plan. If it is His path for us, I welcome it with open arms and anxiously await the blessings he has in store for us through our obedience. If not, I pray that He’ll give us a loving knock upside the head so we can focus on the path He does have paved for us.